


A Day

by Nitchen



Series: Saschudgar [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21719410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitchen/pseuds/Nitchen
Summary: ' "Oh, yeah," Paul put his arms around Sasha's neck. "Does the person we're waiting for mean anything to you?""Yes..." Sascha returned and nodded. His heart beat faster at the thought that he was about to see Rudgar. What would the black haired say? Would he despise him for leaving without a word? Would he hug him, kiss him? Would Rudgar pick up the smaller one like he used to and then tell him he loved him?Sascha didn't know.'
Relationships: Alan Humphries/Eric Slingby, Ludger/Sascha (Kuroshitsuji), Rudgar/Sascha (Kuroshitsuji)
Series: Saschudgar [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105121
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

"Sascha, what are we doing here?"; the black-haired boy trotted after his legal guardian, his legs almost didn't carry the young Shinigami anymore, which is why he was glad when Sascha turned to him and smiling offered him the smaller piggyback ride. The brown-haired one was simply the best teacher the German Dispatch Society had. He was friendly to everything and not a bit strict, like the other teachers. If you needed help, he was always there as a contact person and you could also talk to him outside school. His way of dealing with other editors was so strange and wonderful at the same time. It looked so lovingly, when he comforted the young Shinigami, who came to him with some abrasions. Sascha was simply a teacher who could easily put himself in the position of the students. He could just put a smile on everyone's face. No matter how difficult the situation.

"We're waiting for someone." The brown-haired reaper smiled slightly as the young god of death yawned and snuggled up to him. Sascha had grown over time and had also changed physically. He wore earrings with rainbow colors on them, some scars were recognizable by his arms and legs, which came from fighting. He had completed his education and was now teaching history at the German Dispatch Society. For him, it was the most exciting thing in the world. When and where a war had taken place and who was responsible for it. Sascha had always been a small nerd, which is why he was strongly mobbed by others as a pupil. He had had no friends except his former teacher.

Rudgar.

The one who was always there for him, who had always protected him, even if he had to suffer pain for it himself. Rudgar is Sascha's greatest role model. He wanted to be like him. Brave and fearless. He wanted to protect others as his mentor had done for him. He wanted to make everyone happy and above all be a good teacher. Since he had finished his apprenticeship, he no longer worked at his apprenticeship. He was transferred to the capital of Germany. Berlin. This huge city full of people was something completely new for Sascha. The lights of the city looked so breathtaking at night, the air smelled so wonderful and even if Sascha missed his old home, he always had the feeling to be at home here as well. But sometimes he also missed his old life and often dreamed of just sitting in the office with Rudgar. These looks of them, so shy and loving at the same time they have been. So exciting were the nights when they lay in bed together, kissed, loved each other. But they could not reveal their love for each other. Their relationship was considered forbidden, which they also knew, but love was simply stronger than a, for them so senseless prohibition.

"And who are we waiting for?" the black-haired reaper looked over the shoulder of his teacher, who smiled silently into himself. His student reminded him of himself as an apprentice. So curious and full of the will to know. And like Sasha himself, it was great to be a god of death. Although he was a little klutz, he was also lovable. 'Paul' was the kid's name. He always did something wrong and made sure that Sascha always had to laugh. Either he flooded his entire office or he tried to braid the brown-haired plait. But Sasha didn't mind.

"You know Paul..." Sascha started and sighed dreamily. Never before had he told anyone about Rudgar and also not that he was once with him, or is still with him. He didn't know if the black haired one still loved him after all these years and looked at the photo of what was on his bedside table or had stood every evening before going to bed. Since Sascha was transferred from one day to the next, and he could not even say goodbye to Rudgar, they had no more contact. But today, he'd find out. Today he would see him again. Him, his great and only love. Today he would find out if he still loved him as he did. Sascha had accidentally found out that he was in Berlin today and that his train would arrive in about fifteen minutes: "...we're waiting for someone very special."

"Sascha, why are there so many people here?", Paul's questioning face made the greater Shinigami smile. The little one did not know the innumerable places of Berlin yet. The supermarkets and restaurants, the parks and alleys. All these places were alien to Paul.  
"You know..little one, this is a station. Many trains stop here and in these trains there are people who either want to travel from this city to another or come here to see the sights or visit someone, for example," explained the brown-haired man, whereupon Paul looked at him with a smile: "But why does anyone want to leave Berlin? Berlin is beautiful, isn't it?"  
Again Sascha laughed. "Yes, but maybe people want to get out of Berlin to visit their relatives or people who are important to them...or they move or get...Transferred."  
"Oh... " Paul put his arms around Sasha's neck: "...does the person we're waiting for mean anything to you?"

"Yes..." Sascha returned and nodded. His heart beat faster at the thought that he was about to see Rudgar. What would the blackhead say? Would he despise him for leaving without a word? Would he hug him, let alone kiss him? Would Rudgar pick up the smaller one like he used to and then tell him he loved him?

Sasha didn't know.  
He didn't know if Rudgar wanted to see him at all. Whether he still loved him or whether he still wanted to have contact with him. After those three years that changed everything.  
They hadn't seen each other in three years. Three years of grief, but also of joy. Three years without Rudgar at his side. The larger one's hands became sweaty and his throat dry when he thought of how much they had loved each other. How happy they were together, how cheerfully both had laughed, knowing that no one could separate them. Because they, they just belonged together.  
Forever.

"Where do we have to go now?" asked the smaller one. Sasha let the smaller one down from his back and crouched down next to him. "The trains stop down there. So we have to take the escalator down two floors."

"Okay..." Paul took his teacher's hand and walked next to him. Sascha briefly looked down at his protégé, then he grinned mischievously. Two god of death found Paul as a baby. He was then brought to the Society. He was half-and-half. Half god of death and half man, which was extremely rare. After all, Shinigami only had contact with people when they collected souls. Anyway, almost everyone did. Although it was not forbidden to have contact with humans, almost all reapers kept to the fact that humans were only mortal beings. They knew they were gonna die someday. They knew that they would then either go to heaven or hell but few knew that suicides were doomed to eternal life in the Shinigami world as a punishment for doing so and that they had to do their work monotonously every day until they were forgiven for their guilt. For Sasha, it wasn't a 'sad punishment';. Who thought it was great to be a god of death and also to collect souls made him incredibly fun. Fortunately today was a weekend and after that Sascha had an extra week off. Otherwise, he would collect now probably possible with the black-haired souls or teach in the classroom.  
The reapers headed for a bakery. Slowly they both felt hungry. They hadn't eaten today because Sascha had overslept again. He had dressed as quickly as he could, then he had literally thrown Paul out of bed and had helped him get dressed, because the little one was still so drowsy, and could hardly stand without tilting either to the left or to the right. Then he ran with him to the nearest subway station. And now they were standing here.

"Would you like something to eat?", Sascha asked the smaller one. This one shook his head. The brown-haired guy looked down at his roommate with his 'Is-that-a-serious-look' and grinned as Paul shook his head.

"What do you want?", Sascha raised the black-haired one on his arm, so he could see over the counter. As soon as Paul had gained an overview of the assortment, he pointed smilingly to a simple roll. Sascha nodded and gave the order to a young blonde woman who looked smiling from Sasha to Paul.  
"Is that your brother? Well, he's cute!";, the brown-haired smiled slightly. Yes, brother. For the German Shinigami, the four-year-old was a brother, although he knew that Paul regarded him as a 'father figure'. He emulated him and always wanted to be near him. At night, when he couldn't fall asleep, he crawled into the brown-haired man's bed and cuddled up to him all the time. The history teacher found it sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.  
Paul had no one else but him.

"Soooo, we have to go down now." Sascha walked next to the black-haired one. Paul wore a normal shirt and dungarees, Sascha his normal work clothes. Tie, shirt and a jacket just like every day he's been on the road. The smaller reaper nodded and took again the hand of the older one. Sascha held her firmly in his own and went with the other Reapers to the escalators. Before Sascha could even set foot on them, Paul pulled on his jacket. Sascha crouched down to his foster son again. "Uh..Are you scared?"

Hesitantly, the person nodded with red cheeks. Sascha smiled, then he lifted the four-year-old on his arm and had to be careful not to spill his coffee-to-go, which he had also bought. Paul looked at Sasha with big eyes as they slowly descended. When they had arrived downstairs, the older Paul let them down.

"When's the train coming?",Paul had sat down on a bench and slurped on a small bottle of orange juice that Sascha had bought him as well as the roll. Sascha sipped his coffee. He felt the hot drink running down his throat and spreading in the stomach area.

"In about five minutes." Sascha returned and walked excitedly back and forth. He somehow felt like a coffee junkie asking people on the street for money, so he could buy a new one. But it was always like that with Sascha. Drinks containing caffeine always made him quite jittery, much jitterier than he already was without caffeine.  
"And why doesn't it come earlier?", the black-haired one asked and bit briefly off his bun. Sascha laughed shaking his head. "Because he can't come any faster," said the brown-haired one, after which little Shinigami nodded. Sascha loved to explain the smaller things and to teach him something new. The brown-haired man looked nervously at the platform on which a little child, who was about three years old, was dancing around. She wore a pink jacket and kept going round and round in circles. The Shiniagmi smiled at the sight of the little girl. He loved children and was also good with them. If there had been no vacancy in the Society, he might have started training as a kindergarten teacher and might now be sitting in Rudgar's apartment drinking a cup of coffee, as he did now, amidst the many people waiting for their trains. Sascha bit his lip and sat down next to his disciple. The small Schnitter was simply a sunshine that sweetened the day of the German with every little word. So hesitant, but also cute, he sounded when he wanted to ask Sascha something. He remembered the very day he met Paul. Sascha had just come to Berlin, yes, he didn't even know the Society inside and out or the one in his hometown and then one of the administrators came to Sascha and brought the black haired one to him. At that time Paul had been so shy and reserved and had hidden behind the back of an older reaper. The brown-haired one had knelt down on the ground and watched the smaller one until he had come to him slowly and with a smile. He had taken him into his heart from the very first second and was happy to have someone like him. Paul always listened and was a great conversationalist. He was a person you could literally steal horses with.

"Sascha, look!", Paul pointed laughing at a red train just entering the station. Sascha grabbed immediately the hand of his pupil and pulled him gently behind him. He really wanted to see Rudgar. I really wanted to hold him in his arms and kiss him gently. Wanted to pass into him as before, feel him, feel his soft breath on his skin, knowing that all is well. That they're both happy.

He hadn't been happy for a long time, but he simply overplayed it.  
He had never doubted to see him again.  
He'd never forgotten it.  
After ten years, a lot have changed. Maybe Rudgar even had another partner, maybe he didn't think much of Sascha anymore, maybe Rudgar thought that the brown-haired one had forgotten him and started a new life.

"Come here, Paul." Sascha pulled little god of death on his arms. Paul was four years old and quite small for his age, but he had a brilliant memory, which is why he skipped kindergarten and went to first grade. He lived with Sasha, who was surprised by Paul every day. The little reaper made sure that the brown-haired one always had a smile on his lips. Even if the mood was just to cry.

Paul put his arms around Sascha's neck and smiled slightly as the brown-haired man sat him on his shoulders.

"If you see a black-haired man with a hedge trimmer, let me know..kay?", Sascha asked his disciple. Paul nodded and looked around. When the train stopped, over a hundred people, felt as if they were storming in and out of these. It was very difficult to recognize even one person. Everywhere you saw nothing but people and for a few minutes you couldn't see a single one, but it slowly became empty and slowly a black-haired man with glasses on his nose, green-yellow eyes and a small suitcase walked along the platform. Sascha's breathing became irregular and fast. As much as he tried hard not to hyperventilate, he did it a little.  
There he was.  
Rudgar.


	2. Chapter 2

Time seemed to stand still. Sascha didn't hear Paul struggling to come down from the brown-haired man's shoulders telling him that there was a man with black hair and a hedge trimmer. He didn't hear the people talking and laughing around him, didn't hear the noise of the metropolis, which had been so annoying for Sascha in the beginning, so that he had always covered his ears. He heard only one thing. His own heart. It struck as fast as never before in his life. It wants out of him. To him. Rudgar, who looked around with a sad look. His eyes looked so empty. Among these he recognized dark rings. „Rudgar.“ Sascha stared only at the black-haired one, who sighingly grasped the one, took his suitcase and walked towards the brown-haired one. The history teacher lifted the black-haired boy from his shoulders and ran without saying where he wanted to go. He just wanted to see him. To Rudgar.

His footsteps couldn't be heard on the floor at all. Everything around him was too loud. Berlin was too loud. The city that had become a home for Sascha over time. The city whose streets so confused the brown-haired man, although he had to walk through them every day. The city that showed Sascha every day that everyone had his strengths, but also his weaknesses. The homeless people who fought for their lives every day. The situation was particularly critical in winter. In December, many died of hypothermia. This death comes creeping, quiet, unnoticeable, unstoppable. Whenever Sascha saw the body of a homeless person, he had to think about how well other people were doing. They had money, shelter, family, medical care and in spite of everything they wanted more, more money, more possessions, although they knew exactly that what they have is enough already. Some had nothing, others a lot, but why those who have a lot don't give anything, Sascha simply didn't understand.  
He didn't understand people. How greedy they are, just too selfish some were. But there were also a few, very few people who supported social projects. The Shinigami was one of them, even though he was a god of death. He helped anyone who needed help because he thought it was terrible. A human life isn't worth anything these days. But the money is important. What is important seems to have been forgotten by mankind for many years. Togetherness is important, as is happiness. The feeling of being worth something is important, the feeling of love, of great and single love. But people don't appreciate these feelings. Because only when a person is gone, one notices how important he was for you. How much you needed him, how unhappy you were without him. Protect the man who loved you, made you laugh and was sweet as sugar to you. For Sascha this person stood a few meters away from him. For him, Rudgar was that person. 

„S-Sascha?", Rudgar's eyes were on Sascha, who was still running. Tears shimmered in the eyes of the black-haired man, whose heart, like Sascha's, was beating quickly against his ribs.  
Finally.  
He finally saw him.  
Finally he knew that Sasha was still alive, still breathing, still there. A laugh resounded, a laugh adorned with tears. In the following moment Sascha was lifted up by the black-haired ones, then he felt the soft lips of Shinigami on his own. They were so soft, they already felt that way. The brown-haired guy suddenly felt so at home. So welcome, so happy. „Rudgar....“, Sascha buried his head in the jacket of the larger one, who gently pulled the smaller one to himself. Tears ran down the cheeks of the smaller, he whimpered with happiness. Lucky to see him again. Lucky to be with him. Again he kissed the black-haired one, who didn't really believe what had happened.  
He was here.  
He wanted to see him.  
He kissed him. “I missed you so much.“, The person addressed stroked the history teacher's hair. He pressed him closer to himself, which made Sascha feel the warmth of his partner. „A-after all these years, do you still love me?"  
„I-I will love you always...“ the smaller one whispered and clung to the scarf of the larger one. He was there.  
He was with him.  
„I-I also love you...forever“, the bigger one gently stroked his partner's cheek to wipe off his tears, then he felt something or someone pulling on his jacket and looked down at the black-haired boys.  
“What do you want from Sascha?", Paul asked and looked questioningly from Rudgar at Sasha, who only smiles, looking into the eyes of the smoker who slowly lowered him. „Who's that?", Paul pointed to the great reaper who looked from Sascha to Paul in amazement. „R-Rudgar, this is Paul.“, Sascha squatted down to the smaller Shinigami, wiped his face with his sleeve and put an arm around him. „Would you like to say hello to Ruddy?“  
„H-Hello..“, Paul hid behind the back of his teacher when the older reaper also kneeled down to him. 

„Hello. You don't have to be afraid, kiddo.“ Rudgar reached out his hand. Paul came out behind Sasha's back and took it into his own. It was a strange feeling for Sascha to see his partner with his pupil, but also a good one. „Hello.“ Paul said a little more confidently now. Rudgar smiled and looked at Sasha driving his disciple through his hair. They were pitch-black, like the Rudgars, who became warm around the heart when he looked at the brown-haired one. He hadn't changed much. His hair had become a little longer and he too had grown. „He's a little shy with strangers.“, Sascha said quietly and pulled the smaller one closer to him, burying Paul's head in Sascha's jacket. The latter sighed softly. That's exactly what he loved about Paul. His shy, but at the same time curious nature, which put a smile on everyone's face. „Shall we go?", the black-haired one straightened up with a throat and held out his hand to Sascha, which the smaller one took smiling.  
It was a good feeling.  
„Of couse! Come Paul...! Sascha took the hand of the four-year-old, whose gaze was still based on Rudgar. Why did he hold the brown-haired one's hand? Why did he look at him so lovingly? Who was that guy anyway? Never before had Sasha told him about a Rudgar, which had good reasons. One of them, for example, would be that Paul was a little blabbermouth, telling every little piece of information he considered important. Be it the fact that Sascha sang in the shower, or the fact that he liked to be hugged or cuddled. The brown-haired one was popular with his students, but was insulted behind his back, which is why Paul also suffered from it. They've known each other for two years. Last year Sascha even got custody of the black-haired reaper, so that he didn't get a visit from the Youth Welfare Office every month, which wasn't so nice. Every time, they had something to complain about. Sascha had a lot of books about historical events and other things that were not suitable for toddlers, which of course caught everyone's eye immediately. He was also accused of sometimes reading war stories to Paul just because the black-haired reaper in kindergarten once talked about World War II. Paul was a curious personality who liked to stick his nose in all sorts of things, but he also knew boundaries. At least with Sascha, he followed them.  
„W-Where are we going?", Rudgar looked down to the smaller ones, who only looked shrugging shoulders at Paul. He hadn't talked to them since Rudgar was with them. Maybe he was jealous of him. Maybe it was just a toddler thing that went away after an hour or two. 

Speaking of hours. 

„Home. How long are you staying?", Sascha asked and briefly pressed the hand of the older one. Rudgar looked sighing at the brown-haired one who looked at him waiting. „See you tomorrow.“, Rudgar responded. The history teacher nodded sadly. Tears came to his eyes. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow and then? Yeah, then what's it gonna be? What will happen next? Will Rudgar visit him often? „Oh, yeah...“ Sascha once wiped his face and swallowed. I wouldn't let him cry. Not in front of the two people who were everything to him. He'd never cried to anyone but Rudgar before. Never before had he cried in the evening, when he was lying in his bed, beside Paul, whose head was bedded on his chest. He wasn't allowed to.  
It would only show weakness.  
„Which way do we have to go?", asked the smoker. The many people were unusual for him and also the noise annoyed him slowly. Rudgar was not extroverted, but simply too lazy to go among people, as he found himself. He didn't want to get to know anybody and he only went shopping when his fridge was completely empty and nothing edible felt in it anymore, he had to go to the supermarket. Otherwise he just went to work and of course he did it. He had to carry it out. Otherwise, he was useless. 

„We have to take three S-Bahn stations now, then four subway stations, then change and go three stations by bus and then we're there.“ Sascha said and let go of the older one's hand as they approached the escalators. „Come Paul...urg...“ Sascha lifted the little boy up again and looked at Rudgar, who only looked into the eyes of the brown-haired one. They were so beautiful, they shone so lovely, so cheerful so that Rudgar warmed his heart. He smiled softly. „Sascha...“Paul pressed his face against the jacket of the older one, who just sighed and buried his nose in the boy's black hair. He just thought the four-year-old was cute. The way he always looked at him with big eyes, just like he had done with Rudgar himself. I used to. He would not want to reverse time, although he could then see his great love every day. This, all that happened, every step he took was his own destiny. He couldn't stop it. It had to be this way. The transfer to Berlin had ensured that he had met Paul, who would probably have ended up in the home without him. Without someone to look after him, without love, without Sascha. 

„So, now you can go back down", Sascha looked at the little Reaper who had put his arms around the neck of his guardian. He had closed his eyes and smiled slightly. „Can you hold him, please, Rudgar?", Sascha handed the bigger Reaper over to the boy, so the older one looked a little nervous at Sascha. He had no experience with small children, he had nothing at all to do with children, and was also very happy about it. Not that he hated kids. On the contrary. He loved children and wanted to have children of his own at some point, but he is always afraid of doing something wrong. Just like now. Paul was very light and thin, so Rudgar was even more afraid. What if he hurt him or hurt him? Then Sasha would certainly kick his ass. He was sure of that. „I'll take your suitcase.“, Sascha grabbed the suitcase and pulled it after him. He looked at Rudgar, who looked at Paul every step of the way. It was a strange feeling, but also a good one, which nestled deep in his heart and spread out, so that every spot of his body was enveloped in warmth.  
„So, the next commuter train is ours. First rule in Berlin: avoid eye contact in order to avoid unnecessary conversations. Second: Never be a hipster. Third: Never use public toilets. Believe me, even if you have to urgently, you'll die immediately when you see the toilets.“, Sascha grinned when Rudgar nodded slowly. The brown-haired one was one head smaller than himself. In former times, when he had called the brown-haired one a disciple and not a partner, Sascha was so small that Rudgar always had to look down on him. As time went by, he grew taller and grew into a man who sometimes had childish ideas that caused chaos. 

„In a minute the train will arrive. Get in a seat as soon as you can, okay?", Sascha looked through the crowd that was around her. Berlin was a big city, so he was always afraid of losing Paul or getting lost, but luckily there were Google Maps. Sascha would probably be a mess without this one. How often had he walked in the streets and then always ran back and forth like a madman until he found someone to show him the way. When Paul was there, everything went much faster. A man with a child would wake up much faster than a man without a child, who was probably also a stoned drunkard, sitting somewhere on the sidewalk, observing the bright colors that formed in his mind's eye. Oh yes, Berlin was a beautiful city, but behind it there was suffering and poverty. It was both a blessing and a curse that swept over all the inhabitants. 

„Come on, now!", Sascha pulled Rudgar by his jacket into a wagon that filled up in a flash. The brown-haired one had luckily noticed two free places and sat down on one of them. Rudgar with Paul next to him. The history teacher had got a window seat and looked briefly out of the window. They've done that before.


	3. Chapter 3

The door of the small four-room apartment opened creakingly. The brown-haired Shinigami, with the little one on his arm, went closely followed by the black-haired ones into the apartment. The little black-haired boy held on to Sascha when he put him on a chair that went to the dining table, which also stood on the corridor. The older one gently stabs his pupil over his soft, black hair. Meanwhile, Rudgar looked around the apartment: It was quite normally furnished, apart from the overcrowded bookshelf, which belonged to Sascha. Even on the floor lay some books whose titles were not fair to small children, Rudgar believed, who did not even know how to lift a child. The great reaper was glad that Sasha was doing well, that he was happy, and that Paul, whose personality Rudgar could not yet fully appreciate, did not give him too much work. But he found it strange that little Shinigami looked at him with his head crooked and a scrutinizing look. Like he wanted to know what he was doing here, in the apartment in Sasha and he lived in. „Come Paul, shoes off..“, Sascha opened the Velcro fastened shoes of the boy, who was still staring at the German, who was busy taking off his own shoes. 

„Sascha, what's he doing here?“, questioning, Paul looked into the eyes of the history teacher. The person addressed looked with a smile at his foster child. He had never even said a word about Rudgar. He wanted to suppress the feeling of sadness, loneliness and all other bad feelings as he had done before when he was a student. He wasn't with Rudgar then. He was only his pupil, a good friend perhaps, but you could never talk about love. It was and is forbidden to love a student as a teacher. And vice versa. "He visits us. "You like company, don't you? Sascha placed the boy's shoes on the floor and then devoted himself to his partner, who looked only silently at the two Shinigami. „Ruddy, you can sit down in the living room with him“, he lifted the four-year-old and pressed him into Rudgar's arms. For a four year old Paul was very small which made Rudgar believe that he was suffering from a growth disorder. As well as Sascha.  
„Okaaaay....“ the black haired one looked at Paul, who is as astonished as he is. Without saying a word more, Rudgar went into the modern furnished living room. There was a sofa in a corner, a bigger closet next to it. A television set stood on a small, white cupboard. The white painted walls made the room look like any other. On the table, which stood close to the sofa, lay some documents. The boy's toys were all over the floor. Rudgar had to smile when he saw them. He let Paul down so that he could play with the things lying on the floor. The black-haired Reaper went to the kitchen, where Sascha washed the dishes. 

„Sascha", Rudgar leaned this against the refrigerator on those pictures that Paul had painted like Rudgar recognized at first glance. There were two stick figures on one. They were standing on a meadow where some flowers were growing. The background was left white. In the upper right corner you could see a typical kindergarten sun, as it stands in the beech tree. There were names about the two people:  
''Sascha &Paul''  
It was Sascha's clean and somewhat ornate writing that had put the names on the paper. Rudgar would recognize them among thousands. He was sure of that. „Mmm?“, Sascha looked at his partner with a peaceful expression on his face as he cleaned the plate with a sponge. „Say, how do you deal with children?“, Sascha laughed only at the question of his partner, but then he noticed that Rudgar meant it seriously. The next moment, Sascha paused. Rudgar was dead serious. The black-haired man meant almost everything he said about deadly seriousness, but Sasha had forgotten. Rudgar was very cautious about topics like this and always listened sincerely. In contrast to Sasha, who was rather relaxed about such topics. Raising a small child was not easy in some situations, but the brown-haired man had had a good feeling when he first saw Paul. 

„So...you have to be gentle, caring and funny.“ Sascha said back. „Anyway, with Paul...“ „I don't have any of those qualities.“ Rudgar returned nervously and bit his lip. „Yes. You're caring and gentle too.“ Sascha went to the black-haired Shinigami and stood on his toes, so that he could put his lips on those of the other. After a few seconds he broke away from him: „Now go into the living room and play a little with Paul. I'll be right behind you.“ „Okay..“ Rudgar slowly went back into the living room. Paul sat on the floor and played with a Playmobil farm close to the heating. Next to the farm there was a small pasture where horses and cows from the same company stood. The black-haired guy was playing with two characters, two people. Rudgar sat down next to the boys. This one didn't pay any attention to him. His attention remained with the toy figures. 

„H-Hey....“ Rudgar carefully took two figures. A horse and a man. He put the human on the horse, after which he noticed that the horse probably needed a saddle. „Here, put this on Henry.“ Paul pressed two plastic pieces into Rudgar's hand. A saddle and a holster. The latter looked at Paul, then he sighed and tried to push the saddle onto the Playmobil horse, which he finally succeeded in doing. „Claus needs to get on top of him now.“ Paul pointed to the second figure that Rudgar held in his hands. The reaper put the figure on the toy horse. Paul nodded with a smile. „Now he's riding Henry.“ Rudgar pushed the horse to the boys, who laughed and a blonde-haired, small figure should surely represent a little girl, pushed to Rudgar's figures. 

„Uhhh....there's Anna. She wants to take possession of Henry!“, Paul looked at the black-haired ones with a shocked expression on his face. He didn't really know whether to laugh or cry. He thought it was cute, though. Paul had fantasy, maybe more than another four-year-old. „Oh, but Henry doesn't like Anna.“ Rudgar pulled the Playmobil horse a bit away from the girl, and Paul nodded: „He hates her. But she told her father, who had an affair with Claus' mother, that she wanted Henry. He's an excellent dressage horse.“  
Rudgar just looked at the smaller one for a moment. He had to digest what little Reaper had just said. „So Claus wants to keep Henry from being sold“, the smoker smiled slightly as Paul nodded, then took another figure in his hand. „And who is that?“  
„Oh, that's Mr. Haecker. He's the owner of the farm. His wife died three years ago of brain cancer.“ Again Rudgar looked confused at Paul. That a four-year-old boy knew the technical term for a tumor was pretty weird.  
„Oh, yeah.“  
„But he didn't really love her, which is why he didn't mourn her.“ the little boysaid. The older one nodded in surprise. This kid either needed a psychologist or he just had a huge gossip on him. The next moment Sascha came into the living room. He sat down smiling next to his disciple and pulled him to his lap. „Well, little one? Did you show Rudgar the farm?“, Paul nodded only on the question of his legal guardian, who stroked on it by the hair of the small one. 

„Sascha, can we talk?“, Rudgar quietly returned when the four-year-old crawled from the brown-haired man's lap and was busy with his figures again. Sascha nodded and got up. Rudgar did it after him. Both went down the corridor. Sascha leaned against the front door while Rudgar stood in front of him and looked down at him. „I think Paul needed a psychologist“ he said seriously. Sascha just nodded. „What makes you say that?“ „Well, he talks about the dead when he's four years old.“ “Honey, he's a Shinigami“ Sascha said „You weren't talking about the dead when you had your first lesson with me.“ the black-haired one returned.  
Sighing, Sascha nodded.


	4. Chapter 3

„Sascha!", Paul pulled on the jacket of the greater god of death, whose attention, however, was directed only to his partner. He took a closer look at Rudgar. Nothing had changed about him. He still had that disinterested look that chased everyone a little shiver down his spine, his hair was shiny and soft, and as the brown-haired one only noticed now, they and his own had grown a bit, but it wasn't immediately recognizable as with Sascha, whose hair was already running over his shoulders. The history teacher looked down at the little ones. They had just gotten out of the completely crowded bus and walked down the street. Sascha lived in a small residential area near a small playground. Paul looked annoyed at Rudgar, then at Sasha, who smiled at him and wuzzled through the hair of the little reaper. „We'll be home soon.“ „But it's the special episode!" the black-haired reaper pulled on the brown-haired reaper's jacket, making him smile. „That comes in an hour. We can watch it today, I promised you, didn't I?"

Paul nodded, then he twisted his eyes. Without Rudgar they would clearly have been faster. The black-haired - Paul affectionately called him a 'full fool'' - reaper had asked many questions to Sascha, which absolutely did not interest the four-year-old. „Sascha, how old is he anyway?", Rudgar whispered in the ear of the smaller one. Sascha answered by typing four times against the hips of the older one so that he didn't have to say it. This one nodded in astonishment. He had estimated Paul at five or six years, for four he was far too clever, which was probably due to Sascha's education. He taught him a lot outside school, as well as English or mathematics.  
„Oh well....“ mumbled the god of death and looked at the smaller reaper. Paul was still holding the hand of his guardian, somehow reminding Rudgar of the brown-haired one. Sascha had always been a little nuisance, but in a loving way. He read a lot and had a new idea in his head every day. Sascha had a blossoming imagination that is visible in many places. He could draw well, as well as sew or knit and also cook a lot for him not hard. 

„It's over there.“, Sascha pointed to a small apartment block across the street. Paul sighed when the traffic light turned red. He finally wanted to go to his room and just sleep until the special came on the Disney channel. After all, Sascha had kicked him out of bed at five o'clock, dressed him and then pulled him to the bus. How he knew the old guy and why he was with them, Paul didn't know either. Maybe he was a simple colleague, but why did Sascha have tears in his eyes when he saw him? And why had they pressed their lips together and now held hands?  
These are all legitimate questions.  
„Sascha" again Paul pulled on the jacket of the brown-haired one who looked at him: „Mhm?"  
„Who's that? How do you know him?", Paul asked quietly. He laughed and raised his pupil on his arm: „Well..he used to be my teacher, then, when I was in the middle of my education, I fell in love with him. But since it is forbidden to be with a teacher as a student, we had to keep our relationship secret. When I graduated, I worked briefly as a history teacher in Bavaria, but then I was transferred here to Berlin, and got to know you.“ Paul laughed. Rudgar just nodded, which made the four-year-old look at him: „And why did you kissed Sascha?"

„So, um, little one...“ Rudgar scratched the back of his head and swallowed. Sascha shook his head and took over the word: „When two people love each other very much, then they kiss each other“ „But we both love and yet we love.“ Paul's answer made Sasha laugh: „I mean loved ones in a different way. You'll understand when you get older, sweetheart.“ „Oh, so...when two people have sex or Sascha?" the black-haired one looked at the older one questioningly. The brown-haired one nodded silently while Rudgar stared at him stunned. He was four! When you're four, you should still play in the sandbox and watch cartoons, when you're four, you shouldn't even have the term ''sex'' in his vocabulary. „Good...“ Paul put his arms around Sasha's neck, and he looked at Rudgar, who only looked at the little reaper in amazement, who cuddled himself more tightly to his teacher. "Is he always like this?" asked the black-haired one. Sascha just shook his head. „No. He talks a lot, but I've never talked to him about sex before. H-He's way too young for that. Maybe he's watching too much TV....“  
„Maybe?“, Rudgar grinned when Sascha scratched the back of his head:  
„Okay....he's watching too much TV...“ Sascha returned and pressed the traffic light again. After a few seconds it jumped to green. The brown haired one pulled the older one by his sleeve behind him. He had learned one thing here: You always had to be fast. Peace existed very rarely in Berlin and if it did, it was only at home. 

„Say, is he asleep?“, Sascha asked as they were standing across the street. Rudgar looked briefly at Paul slumbering peacefully before he nodded. „Yep...He looks so cute....I'm sure he's glad to have you, Sascha.“ The history teacher's cheeks blushed as Rudgar lovingly looked at him, bent down at him and gently kissed him. The lips of the brown-haired one tasted sweet...of chocolate with a hint of gummy bears, but it could also be cotton candy. „I love you“ he breathed into Sasha's ear and smiled slightly. Otherwise Rudgar was always the grumpy part, which used to only become romantic when they both sat alone in their apartment, side by side in front of the TV, which was showing a documentary of some war. Only then did Rudgar's romantic side become active and he began to say extremely sweet things to Sascha that warmed the heart of the smaller one. „I love you too.“ Sascha sighed dreamily and looked for a moment into the eyes of his partner. They were full of affection and love. Full of trust, but also pain lay in these. He wanted everything to last forever, that it would be forever, that they would never have to part again. 

But this wish was impossible. Rudgar had to leave again tomorrow, to Bavaria and Sascha, yes, Sascha stayed alone with Paul in Berlin. Without his partner, without Rudgar, without his only great love. Without him, his heart always hurt a little and beat slower than when he was with him. „Come on, we gotta go home...“ the brown-haired one took the other's hand and pulled him behind him. „The show is coming in an hour, and I still have something to prepare.“  
„What show?“  
„Gravity Falls“ Sascha returned. The black-haired one nodded confusedly. Sascha had always looked for series up and down. Whether cortoons, crime novels, romances or animes, the brown-haired history teacher saw everything there was. Rudgar didn't know if this ''Gravity Falls'' was animated or not. The black-haired man reluctantly looked at children's series, which made him different from his partner. He found it pointless to see a children's series as an adult, but he had to remember again and again that somehow Sascha never grew up herself, but will remain an eternal child forever.  
„Oh, yeah..“ The god of death kept his eye on the smaller one, who apparently only paid attention to Paul, who cuddled himself closer to his legal guardian. It was a sugar-sweet sight for Rudgar, who had never seen Sascha with a little child before. It was like Paul was the son of his partner...and himself. Never before had Rudgar thought about children, never even thought for a second about ever having a offspring. Likewise, Sascha had never addressed this issue, they ignored it, just let it get dusty. „Can you unlock the door?", Sasha asked the black-haired man, who was just looking at Paul completely lost in thought, he was startled and let the brown-haired man press the silver key into his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

„I was beginning to think you'd ask me about that.“ Sascha said and looked into the other's eyes. He drove himself through his brown hair. „Paul is a strange child. He doesn't like to play with anyone but me. That he didn't scream when you took one of the characters is really admirable. Really, the other day one of the youth welfare department was here again to check if he was all right and Paul only cried when she touched his favourite plush animal once. He's a smart kid who's always trying to learn. He speaks English very well, as well as math. He is good at writing letters and prefers to be alone rather than among others. I always try to do the best I can to make him happy. Great conditions or wishes, he never poses, which is why this is also quite simple. What I'm trying to say is, Rudgar, Paul's a character. I never read him war stories or told him anything about the Holocaust. He's just a little genius who doesn't want to be the center of attention. But I don't know if he sees you as an enemy or a friend. But I think he'll grow on you.“

For a moment there was silence. Neither Rudgar nor Sascha said a word. In the background there was a loud 'And now it's on with Welcome to Gravity Falls' to hear. Paul must have turned on the TV, which didn't bother Sascha. „Okay...“ Rudgar gave back and put his hand on the cheek of the smaller one. The latter looked at his partner with a smile. He had thought that he would not accept Paul and that Sascha had not only time for him. „Well....sorry, that just had to be said.“ Sascha noticed Rudgar taking his hand and gently pulling it towards him. That would be, that smell. Everything reminded Sasha of before. Two years ago. The time before Paul, before Berlin, before the child, which had changed his complete view of the world. 

It was no wonder that Sascha addressed this topic, it was understandable. He wanted Rudgar to know that now that Paul was also playing an important role in the life of the smaller one, the black haired one as well as Sascha should take responsibility for Paul. Rudgar felt his heart start beating slower. His throat became dry, everything else faded out and fell into the shade. All he cared about was the brown-haired reaper standing in front of him. He was like Paul's father. He was the only contact person for the four-year-old. Rudgar could probably never, the black-haired one thought, take a place in the child's heart. Perhaps he could try to become a good friend to him, but not a father figure to Paul like Sascha. For a father, Rudgar had too many bad things about him that he couldn't fight. His alcohol and cigarette consumption as well as his style, sometimes just yelled at Sascha, without the smaller one having done anything. At least that's how it used to be, two years ago, when everything was still wrapped in pink colors. The world was perfect for Sascha and Rudgar. So is her love. He remembered so well the many nights in which they lay side by side, together, safe, in love and overjoyed. 

„No problem.“ Rudgar cleared his throat as Sascha walked past him to look after Paul. He took the older man's hand and pulled him behind him into the living room, where the four-year-old sat with big eyes in front of the television. The TV showed a cartoon. A brown-haired boy with a red T-shirt and a blue waistcoat over it was recognizable. He was wearing a white-light blue cap. On the front of this was a fir tree, which was also depicted in blue. Next to him was a girl with long brown hair and a pink sweater with a shooting star. 

„The special's coming!“ Paul got up and jumped excitedly around Sasha and Rudgar. The latter no longer understood the world. „Children....“ the black-haired mumbled with a smile and lifted the four-year-old boy up. At first the little one was a little scared, but after a few moments he got used to the height. Otherwise Sascha, who was quite small himself, always wore it, at least for an adult Shinigami. Rudgar was correspondingly taller than the brown-haired history teacher, who was just 1, 50.  
„Hahaha“ Paul patched his little hands on the head of the older reaper and laughed, making even Rudgar smile. „Nawwww my two darlings!“Sascha embraced Rudgar and sighed softly. He never thought Paul would develop trust in Rudgar so quickly. After all, it took some attempts even with him, until the black-haired one had given him his confidence. Sascha was not jealous, on the contrary: he was happy that the little boy accepted Rudgar. 

„I gotta keep watching the show.“ Paul went back to the TV with these words. Rudgar looked for a moment to the smaller ones, who now again watched the series with excitement. „Well, I've got some documents to fill out now.“ Sascha went into his study with these words. In the past, before Paul, the room had no further use. Sascha had folders and things stored there that he needed for his lessons. The folders were still standing on the white IKEA shelf like they used to be. The things for the lessons were now in a cupboard. The only thing that had changed was that there was now a big desk at the window. On a small couch on which the brown-haired man sometimes fell asleep when working until three in the morning, there was a black laptop. The smaller reaper took a folder with the inscription 'PAUL' and went back into the living room with it. Rudgar sat next to Paul in front of the TV and watched the Disney series. The brown-haired guy sat down on the couch and opened the folder. In an envelope that Sascha opened, there were some papers. Sighing, the brown-haired one began to fill them out. Time flew by. The series ended after about two hours, Paul ran screaming through rooms when he realized that his favorite character had died and only calmed down again when a new series was announced. After a few minutes Paul climbed onto the sofa. 

„Sascha, Sascha, Sascha!!“, the little boy happily hopped around his guardian and grinned broadly. The brown-haired one was still busy filling out the documents. Sascha had fought for a long time to adopt Paul, but his chances as a single 'father' were very bad, but he did everything to give the little one a home. After all, he had converted his former study into a children's room including furnishings: A racing driver's bed, a wardrobe and some shelves in which books or toys were placed. He always wanted the best for the little one, but the Youth Welfare Office claimed something different. They said that Sasha was not mature enough to raise a child even though it had worked for two years. Two years in which every month a chick from the youth welfare office stood in front of his front door and had visited the apartment, of course unannounced. Now he wanted to send the application to the office, just in the morning, when they brought Rudgar back to the station. With these thoughts Sascha's heart was laced up again. He had to leave him again, to Bavaria, where the brown-haired one should be now. 

He didn't know anything. He didn't know that Berlin was looking for a job as a history teacher and he didn't know that he had to leave without being able to say goodbye to Rudgar. He had lost his mobile phone on the hour-long train journey and also the number of his friend he did not know by heart. He had never given up hope of seeing him again, even if there were rumours. Someone is said to have died in Bavaria, one of them. A Shiniami is said to have been attacked and killed by a demon, just like that. Usually demons and Shinigami just tried to stay out of each other's way, but sometimes they would meet each other, for example when collecting souls. Sascha was afraid it was Rudgar. That he was dead, but luckily two colleagues were able to reassure him by starting a search. They found Rudgar and sent him a letter. He should immediately come to Berlin, because there will be a surprise on him. „Yes, my darling, what is it?“ Sascha lifted the boy to his lap. Rudgar, who sat on the sofa next to the smaller reaper and read through some papers, looked at the child crawling on his lap and looking at him with big, shining eyes. The reaper stroked the four-year-old through his hair. They were thick and short, so it was very difficult to wash them. 

„Can't Rudgar stay here?“ Paul asked when Sasha looked at the two reapers. The neck of the smaller one became slowly dry, his hands sweated, his limbs became a little heavier. Even Paul wanted Rudgar to stay here. „I don't know, you have to ask Rudgar.“ Sascha looked into the eyes of his partner, who only sighed. „I'd love to, but I have to get home. To Bavaria.“ „You live in Bavaria? Do you eat bratwurst as much as Sascha? And sauerkraut? And schnitzel?“ Paul looked curiously from the black-haired to Sasha. Just shaking his head laughing. Yes, he also admitted it, he had a penchant for German dishes and crickets every summer evening very genre on the balcony. Paul found this funny in some way. „Yes....“ the older one gave back a little perplexed. Meanwhile Sascha lay on the table and laughed, whereby Paul pointed grinning at him. „Sascha has drunk too much again!“ „What?!“ Rudgar asked with a smile. Paul began to explain. „ So whenever Sascha is drunk, he's lying on the table giggling.“ The brown-haired one still nodded laughing. „But he's very rarely drunk. Only when soccer is on.“ the black-haired one returned. Rudgar nodded understandingly.  
That could be fun.


	6. Chapter 6

As the sun was setting, Rudgar, Sasha and Paul lay on the floor of the living room where the brown-haired man had spread a blanket. Otherwise the ground would be too hard to lie on. While Paul had made himself comfortable on Sasha's breast, the black-haired reaper lay next to Sascha, his hand in the smaller's hand. It was just before eight, which meant the four-year-old had to go to bed.  
Sascha sighed, held little Shinigami as he stood up and lifted little Shinigami onto his arm. Paul had almost fallen asleep when the history teacher carried him into his room and laid him in his bed. He drove over the boy's hair and looked at them smiling.  
Rudgar stood at the door frame and watched the scene. When the brown-haired boy kissed the boy on the forehead, he smiled slightly. „Good night, kid.“, with these words the German god of death left the room of the four-year-old. He left the door a crack wide open.

Like every day. 

„Soo~ now we can do anything we want~!“, Sascha literally danced around Rudgar and pulled the black-haired man by his tie into his bedroom, which was next to the boy's room. Rudgar drove over each other's backs to take off their shirts, while Sasha drove his lips over each other's necks.  
It was an indescribable feeling to have him back with you after two seemingly endless years. To embrace him, to kiss him, to show him his love. Slowly they sat down on the bed and looked at each other for a moment. Rudgar's shinigami green eyes looked into the smaller's.  
The younger god of death sighed, then bit his lower lip. The movements of the smaller one made the older reaper moan quietly. It was so indescribably beautiful, Rudgar thought for a moment that everything was a dream, but the words of the history teacher that penetrated his ear assured him that everything was real. Every little touch, every breath that could be felt on the black-haired man's skin, every soft groan, Rudgar remembered everything from before. The time when there were only two of them and they had only themselves. 

„Sascha?“ he voice of the larger one made the brown-haired one flinch slightly. „Mmm?“ he gave it back and stopped his instincts for a moment. „I-I don't think we should go on...after all, Paul sleeps in the next room and I don't want him to wake up.“ Sighing, Sasha nodded. Then he shook his head: „He is a deep sleeper. Just give me five minutes and you'll see the sky~“  
„Sascha-“ just as the black-haired one was about to contradict him, the smaller one put one hand on his partner's lips. „Pssscht. Just shut up and leave everything to me.“ with these words he began to move slowly into the older one. He wanted to show him that he still loved Rudgar. Wanted to give him something back.  
Just wanted to spoil him again. 

„Mhm....“ Rudgar nodded, followed by a grin from Sascha. He was now sitting on the black-haired one. Although he had never been the dominant part of sex, it was somehow fun for him. Rudgar suppressed a groan and the brown-haired man stroked his former mentor over his cheek.  
Rather his former me in this situation would have started to tremble and would just lie there still if he would lie down. But this position had now been taken by the black-haired one, who lay only quietly under him. He didn't move, didn't say anything, but you could see from his facial expression that he was happy.  
Happy to be with him.

„Well, I actually thought it would satisfy you....“ Sascha muttered, when he started to move into the older one again after a short break. The next moment he heard a soft groan from the black-haired one, who twisted his eyes and stared at the ceiling. 

„Well, that was the crux of the matter....“ Sascha, smiling, moved on and clung to the bed sheet with his hands. He'd never satisfied Rudgar before. Maybe through a blow or hand job but never like this. In the beginning the smaller Shinigami had problems not to fall on Rudgar's body because his strength slowly diminished, but after some time it worked out. After about five minutes Sascha fell on the body of the older one. He lifted the smaller one down from himself and turned him gently on his back. He began to distribute kisses to the upper body of the smaller until he arrived at his penis.

„I love you..“ the black haired one bent over so he could put his lips on the younger one's lips. „I love you too.“ Sascha whispered, but rather the reaper could say something else one heard a scream, then a whimper. His gaze led to the door where he saw someone shrinking his heart a little.  
He, Paul stood there. In his arms he held a little teddy bear. His favorite stuffed animal without which he couldn't sleep. There were tears in his eyes. Sascha believed that he was probably disturbed by the scene he had just seen. He couldn't blame him either, after all, he was a small child. A child who talked about death and illness like an adult and had a strong imagination. 

„P-Paul...I can that-“ even before the brown-haired guy could get up, the little boy had run back into his room. „Paul!“, Sascha looked briefly at Rudgar, then he ran to the room of the black-haired man. With every step his abdomen hurt him a little, but it didn't bother him much.  
„Paul...“ Sascha opened the door of the child hiding under the blanket lying there. Sascha thought playfully for a moment. „Well, where could Paul be? Mm...so I'm pretty sure he's in the closet.“ Sascha heard a laugh from the smaller one, then another whimper.  
He opened the cupboard door and then looked around the room: it was simply furnished: A bed, some shelves, a small table and chair. On the floor lay some toys, which Sascha actually always put away in a box so as not to fall over it. 

„Where could Paul possibly be? So I'm starting to think he's completely disappeared.“ Sascha stood in front of the bed and looked at it. The four-year-old was now silent. He said nothing, didn't move, but he breathed evenly. „Maybe he's under the blanket....Let's have a look....“ Sascha pulled the blanket away and looked at Paul lying huddled up there. „There he is.“ Sascha attracted the little boy, which made him laugh.  
„Sascha, what were you doing?“ curious, Paul crooked his head. „So....little....th-you understand that when you're older.“ Sascha stabs the boy through his hair. Paul nodded and then smiled.  
„Why was Rudgar almost lying on your back? Did you had sex?“ Sascha swallowed and noticed how his hands became sweaty. He didn't want to tell him the truth, but he didn't want to lie to him either, but luckily Rudgar came out of the bedroom at that moment and stood by the door frame


	7. Chapter 7

"Does he want to sleep with us?", Rudgar had sat down on the boy's bed next to the brown-haired ones and now looked from Sascha to Paul. The latter had pressed himself against his guardian and sighed softly as Sascha pulled him onto his lap and gently lifted him onto his arm before he stood up. He nodded at the black-haired man and went into his bedroom. Smiling, he laid the boy down on the mattress and then let himself down in bed. The black-haired Reaper lay down on the other side of the bed, next to the four-year-old, whereupon the latter snuggled up against him. A quiet giggle from Sascha sounded when Rudgar flinched a little. He was unaccustomed, even too strange, to a child pressing itself against him. The black-haired one remained calm for a moment and looked out of the corner of his eye at Sascha, who was only smiling. He didn't mind that Paul had snuggled up to him, or so Rudgar believed. But he probably did not notice how a question was burned into Rudgar's memory: Would Paul accept him as well? Would he listen to him? What if he doesn't? What if Paul hated him?

But he simply wanted to repress this thought, not leave it the power to ignore it. "Good night, my two darlings." with these words Sascha turned, who probably still hadn't understood that the older reaper was a bit scared. He didn't know how to deal with a child, let alone how to treat one. Although he had once seen a series where people, mostly straight couples, sit on the sofa with their children and discuss about other parents and how to raise their children, Rudgar really didn't know anything about education. That Sascha was good with children was clear to him since their first meeting. The younger Reaper always had a very loving and over caring character, who was always there when someone needed help. Whether it was a human being or a shinigami.

Speaking of humans. Sascha had told the black-haired one, while they were in the subway, that Paul is a half-hinigami. He had blue eyes instead of green ones, but they glowed in the dark like the green eyes of a shinigami. Paul could not yet jump on roofs without any effort, but he knew the rules of the Shingami by heart. What if he couldn't jump on roofs like others? What if that's why he's marginalized? If he is not accepted for training? What should he learn then? Should he then enter the human world and take a job in this world? Or was he banished? There were almost no half Shinigami in the German society, some in Western Pomerania, the black-haired one knew that, but he did not know whether they worked normally as Shinigami. Maybe he would be treated like a normal shinigami. Let's hope...

Hopefully it won't come to that, Rudgar secretly prayed for it, but he really did not know to whom to pray. It was somehow like in the past with Sascha, who couldn't work with any Death Scythe. In the end, he had his camera, which he actually only needed to photograph corpses, converted into a Death Scythe. Now he could shoot photos with this and collect souls at the same time. It was easier for him to just flip a small switch attached to the left side of the camera than with a Death Scythe, such as a hedge trimmer, as with Rudgar was to collect a soul. For others it was strange to see him with a camera in front of a corpse, photographing it first and then collecting its soul. This meant that he had to do two jobs at once and thus had less time to do his work. But how's Paul gonna be in school. According to Sascha, he is already going to pre-school, but he is raised by others because he has only one legal guardian. And no ''mother''. The brown-haired man had also told him that every year he attended Father's Day and Mother's Day at the preschool. Maybe next year Rudgar had to be the ''father'' However, he did not even know whether he could stay here or whether he would have to continue working in Bavaria.

He hoped that he could stay here and call Berlin his home already next month. Rudgar would only have to pack a few things and then it could start. The journey to Berlin was long, but it was worth it, because he can finally be with Sascha. Then he can finally work with him again, collect souls and have fun. A few months ago he had thought that Sascha was dead, that a demon had simply taken him away. Rudgar had cried, spent days and nights researching, even phoned London and France to ask if Sascha was with them. Only alcohol and his beloved cigarettes could take his mind off things. Then when he got the call, he was back to his old self. Before he had just been living in a dream world, had simply not been recognizable anymore but now, now he had woken up again. From a never ending nightmare called loneliness. There could be any person with him, only when his Sascha was not there, he felt lonely.

A yawn from the four-year-old brought the black-haired man back out of his thoughts. Paul had an arm around him and was snoring a little. The black-haired one also closed his eyes. Even though tomorrow would probably be a very emotional and sad day, he still had a good feeling. But this could only come from Sascha, who had turned around in the meantime, taking his hand and gently caressing it with his lips.


	8. Chapter 8

Rudgar was woken in the morning by Sascha, who had pressed himself against him. The black-haired one put his arms around the smaller one and pulled him closer. Only when he felt two little feet kicking against his belly did he realize that the little reaper was still between them. Could they ever have sex again without Paul knowing? Rudgar just shook his head at the thought. Did he really want this? Did he really want to be something like a 'father' for Paul, as Sascha is? Watch over him and protect him if he ever got in trouble? The black-haired man closed his eyes for a moment and thought. Surely much more would change in his life than he loved. Get up earlier than usual, don't flip out, don't yell, don't smoke in the apartment  
How did Sasha get everything under one roof? How did he get Paul to kindergarten in the morning, went to do his job as a teacher, picked Paul up from kindergarten and then took care of him, prepared the lessons for the next day? Aside from going to bed pretty late when he had to work? Besides, there was something only Sascha and he knew. They never talked about it, although it would change their lives. In at least three years they will experience the side effects, they will come unexpectedly, as will the creeping death he was carrying. ''Mhm", Sascha turned and sighed and looked at the clock. 5. 30am, the brown-haired man read silently in his thoughts. It was time.

With one glance at Rudgar, who still had his eyes closed, he groped for his glasses, which he had placed on the bedside table, and from his bedroom, where he immediately turned left, into the bathroom. The brown-haired man stood in front of the mirror and drove through his long brown hair. He looked at himself: His eyes were adorned with dark rings, his pupils were small, just too unhealthy he looked, but he really didn't want to admit that he was not well. Not for weeks. For weeks he had been suffering from recurring nausea, headaches and dizziness. Sascha feared the worst. Without even thinking about it for a second, he stood on tiptoe to get to the little box that stood on one of the shelves, right next to his conditioner. He swallowed, opened the white can and took three pills out of it that looked like TicTac's. Sasha took them all at once, shook himself at the disgusting taste that spread all over his tongue and choked a little. ''Can't these fucking things taste different?!", Sascha muttered somewhat annoyed and eyed the can. It had three big letters on it: ''TOD'', did not stand for death, but Sascha found it funny somehow, after all the reason why she had to take Sascha was the reason for death. After all, there was one case that just went back and forth through all the Societys. He gave many rumors, ranging from thousands of souls who were supposed to enable the healing of the disease to sins committed by a certain Shinigami. Just for the love of his life. Sascha even knew the leader personally. He worked in England, London to be precise, and was a so-called ''miracle of medicine''

At least that's what they called him. He had already undergone many operations, countless medications were stuffed into him, from antibiotics to a special radiation therapy, which Sascha imagined to be similar to chemo. It was a young, brown-haired man with whom the history teacher often talked about Skyp. His name was Alan Humphries. The saddest thing about all of this is that if a cure is not found quickly, he will leave not only his husband, who took care of him, but also his children. He had two, as Sasha was known. Flora and erica. It was somehow clear that they would give their girls a flower name, Sascha had thought of that from the beginning. The tablets that Sascha had to take every morning reduced the spread of the virus that was already in his body. Up to now there were only two small, hardly visible lines to be seen. Luckily Paul hadn't noticed the illness yet. Just like the young people's office, which would certainly take him away from the little ones. It was simply a matter of time before the side effects of the tablets would become clearly apparent. From hair loss to collapses, everything was there. Alan has been taking these pills since they were developed. The last time the brown-haired man had seen him was about three weeks ago on a video call. Alan had almost no hair on his head, was thinner than ever and looked like a walking skeleton. The Thrones of Death will probably cost the history teacher his life in a few years. He was sure of it.

"Honey, what's wrong?", Rudgar carefully knocked on the bathroom door and then entered. Sascha looked at him with a touch of melancholy. At first he smiled, but then the breath of joy disappeared and there was only a shadow of everyone he had just possessed.

"Nothing.." Sascha put the box back on the shelf without a word. Then he pushed past Rudgar and went into the kitchen. He could wash himself later. "Sascha..." Rudgar went after the smaller ones and held him down as he was about to fill water into the kettle. Slowly Sascha put it down and turned to Rudgar, who looked at him with big eyes.

"What?"

"I know you're scared, kiddo. I can feel it in your manner."

"I-I'm not afraid!" Sascha swallowed and looked down at the ground. It was true. He was scared. Before death, before what's about to happen. The thought of suffering from a deadly disease that had hardly been noticed yet was just creepy. He would leave Paul alone and Rudgar as well. He would simply leave the two people he cared most about alone. He was also afraid of the pain Alan always talked about. Then he could no longer work and could only walk short stretches. The seizures usually came at night, unexpectedly. When the thorns reached his heart he was dead. Cruel scenes ran through his head. He lay motionless in bed, breathing no more and Rudgar tried desperately to revive him. And then there was Paul, who watched everything and whimpered and screamed. Screamed for him.

"Sasha, listen to me: I know it's hard, but you have to talk about it." the black-haired man sighed as the addressed man shook his head. Unlike with Alan, the thorns were discovered at a very early stage with Sascha. A normal blood test revealed that he was carrying the pathogen inside him. Without any premonition he had received the terrible news. Without hesitation, the doctor had told him so. Rudgar sat next to him at that moment and started to cry, while Sascha just sat there and did nothing. He had felt nothing and said nothing. Then, the night they were home, the brown-haired one just started crying. "Rudgar, I'm fine. Right now, Paul is more important. I have to take the letter for the adoption application today, then another chick will probably come here and inspect the apartment and in three months at the latest Paul will be my son." "Okay al-"

"But you do realize you'll be a father, right?", Sascha interrupted the older one. He nodded, albeit hesitantly.

"I do. I will also do my best as a father." the black-haired one bit his lower lip while Sascha smiled.

"Thanks, honey.." the brown-haired one stood on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his partner's lips.

"No problem. Now get ready. I'll make some coffee." Rudgar watched Sascha walk from the kitchen to the bathroom. A few minutes later, the noise of the shower could be heard. Then a soft voice that sang. With a satisfied expression on his face, Rudgar made coffee and placed the cups on the table in the living room. The sun was just about to rise and slowly it was getting warmer. It was midsummer in Berlin, the thirty-five degree mark was broken and the inhabitants of the city of over a million people also prepared themselves for the weather.

"Rudgar?", a yawn startled the black-haired man. He turned and looked at the four-year-old.

"What is it, little one?", the black-haired one went to the boys, lifted him on his arm and carried him back to the bedroom where he put him to bed.

"It's still early, get some sleep." the taller reaper stroked the hair of the shorter one, who looked at him questioningly.

"Rudgar?", Paul sat up.

"Hmm?"

"Tell me, is Sacha gonna be okay?", the four-year-old's question made Rudgar look at him with big eyes.

"Honey, how do you know that? Sascha's fine."

"But soon the thorns will come. Mr. Humphries has them too. He works in England. I know his daughters, Erika and Flora." Paul explained. The Reaper sighed.

"Paul, listen to me. Sasha will be okay. There are a lot of drugs out there now, and-"

"But there's no guarantee they'll stop the thorns. Alan looks almost like a skeleton, skinny and with only a few hairs." the black-haired man's eyes filled with tears.

"I-I don't want him to go Rudgar.."

"Th-That's not what I want either. But I promise Paul, I will make sure he stays with us forever." now the eyes of the older one became moist, so that some tears ran down his cheeks.

"Thank you..." Paul plumped down on the bed and closed his eyes. "You're all right. I think you could be a great father.." The four-eyes nodded, turned around and went back into the kitchen to prepare the rest.

Thousands of fireworks exploded in him, but he did not let his joy show.


	9. Chapter 9

"Breakfast is ready!", Sascha went into the bedroom and lifted Paul headfirst. He laughed and let himself fall gently onto the bed before he jumped up and ran through the corridor into the living room. Rudgar was already sitting at the living room and smeared himself a nutella sandwich. It smelled of coffee and bread and also a little bit of cocoa, which stood on Paul's place, which the black-haired man took directly.

"What do you want?", Sascha asked his foster son, who looked curiously at Rudgar. "One orange soda, please." it came from the four-year-olds. The brown-haired one nodded while Rudgar smeared a sandwich with the nut nougat cream and gave it to Paul.

"Thanks Rudgar." Paul smiled and took a bite of his sandwich while the history teacher grinned.

"Tell me Paul, do you like Rugdar?", Sascha asked the black-haired man. He nodded with a full mouth.

"Mm. But not as much as you." gave Paul back. The brown-haired one had to laugh, then he thought about yesterday. He had seen them both making love. Sascha hoped that the boy had forgotten this or would never speak to him about it again. And if they did, Sascha had to explain to him what they had done. Even if it was a little embarrassing.

"That's right." Rudgar, who was sitting next to Sascha, pulled him towards him and kissed him gently. It was a great feeling, which made Sascha remember for a moment. Their first meeting, their first kiss, their shared apartment, the nights when they had united their bodies. In which they had to be more careful than anything else that nobody noticed them. Otherwise they would have gotten in trouble and Rudgar would not have been able to teach him anymore. They probably would have quit or relocated him. Perhaps he would be here in Berlin now, but for better or worse he would not have taken Paul in. The brown-haired man could sense that his partner was a little nervous. The way he looked at the four-year-old, he was a little afraid of doing something wrong.

At this thought Sascha had to smile. Could Rudgar have done anything wrong? After all, Sascha was always close to the four-year-old when he wasn't working and even the older reaper knew how to deal with a child. Moreover, the brown-haired man could not imagine that the smoker would do anything to Paul. He had a much too soft heart for that, which he only showed when they were together. Otherwise it would destroy the good reputation of the cold trainer, Sascha knew that.

"Say, what's going on now?", Sascha had smeared himself a liverwurst sandwich and bit off the sandwich. Rudgar looked at his former students with his head tilted. Then he understood. What happened to her life? Together or alone? With a family or without one? With joy or sadness, happiness or misfortune? This, mixed with the thought that Sascha had the thorns in him, made Rudgar disappear for a moment into another world.

He saw him, Sacha and Paul. While the brown-haired man sat on a white bed, which looked like one from the hospital, Rudgar sat next to him, held his hand, and talked to him. The history teacher sat cross-legged on the bed and smiled, if only slightly. Paul looked at him with big, sad eyes. Suddenly the black-haired boy asked this one question, which made the older boy's heart stop beating for a moment.

"Are you going to die?", he asked, without turning his eyes away from Sascha. He stretched out his arms, which Paul immediately agreed to hug. He buried his nose in the dense hair of the smaller one and closed his eyes.

"I don't know, Paul. I don't know.." the reaper whispered to his adopted son.

"No." Rudgar whispered. "It won't come to that."

"Mmm?", Sascha looked curiously at his friend, who only shook his head.

"N-nothing.." Rudgar returned. Sascha just nodded and looked at Paul, who was staring at his cup of cocoa.

"Hey, kiddo." Sascha flicked his fingers in front of the four-year-old's nose, which startled him.

"Mmm, yeah?", Paul now looked like a startled deer, with big eyes and a frightened expression on his face.

"Drink or your Caucasian will get cold", the man just nodded.

After they had had breakfast and Rudgar had helped his partner to dress Paul, as he could not walk around in pyjamas and night trousers, Sascha put the dishes in the sinks and helped Rudgar pack his suitcase. There were only a few things in these. His pyjamas, a black T-shirt, toothpaste as well as a toothbrush and other utensils he needed.

"Ruddy?", Sascha suddenly asked. Rudgar, who was just closing his suitcase, looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"Say, is it okay for you to be Paul's father?", This question. Exactly this question was running through Rudgar's mind since the early morning. Would he be a good father? Was he a loving father? Could he simply take responsibility for a four-year-old without any idea of how to raise children, and who also seemed to be highly gifted. He had often seen documentaries about children who have a higher IQ than some adults and with Paul he was sure that he was highly gifted. After all, as a four-year-old he could speak English like a seventh-grader, and when asked about historical events, he always knew everything, which was perhaps also due to the fact that Sascha told him a lot, not about wars, but about old customs and traditions that had been cultivated in the past.

"O-Okay.. sooner or later, you were gonna bust my balls with this anyway."

"With what?", Sascha asked, even though he already seemed to know the answer. Rudgar sighed.

"Sascha, you have been talking about the future and children ever since we are together. Do you honestly think I never realized you wanted to have kids?"

"Nope.." Sascha returned and grinned as Rudgar fuzzled him through his hair. "Now you know. Besides, the idea of having a child isn't such a bad idea.

"If you had said you didn't like Paul, I would have left you. Really, I mean, I raised him..." mumbled Sasha. The black-haired man just nodded.

"Good, because it's better if he has two legal guardians. It's not like I can't do it alone. But I think Paul has taken you to his heart." the brown-haired man thought of the words of the woman who had finally visited him.

'It would be nicer if he had a mother.'

Yeah, Mother. Sascha almost said that he was gay and had a boyfriend, but it was better that way. A child does not need a mother and father. A child needed two guardians who loved it. Two men or two women, or was he the only one who thought like that? Marriage for all was out in Germany, gay and lesbian couples were allowed to adopt children, but Sascha met so many homophobic people in his everyday life. The new trainee teacher who always sat at the back of the last row and commented on his own words or his colleague who worked as a biology teacher. Sascha sometimes hated his colleagues. Since he had once mentioned that he had a foster son, some people treated him so strangely. They didn't talk to him anymore, didn't even pay attention to him. As if he were air. Besides, some of his female colleagues wanted to see a photo of him. Since a photo of the black-haired man was stored as a lock screen on his mobile phone, this was always easy. Was it perhaps the case that women found single fathers attractive? If so, why? At this thought Sascha had to smile. No woman could take the place in his heart. For this was reserved only for his small family.

Just for Rudgar and Paul.

"When do we have to leave?", Rudgar squatted in front of his suitcase and looked at his cigarette pack. A picture of a presumably dead man was printed on it and the brown-haired man could read the words 'SMOKING IS DEADLY'' even without glasses. In former times, the before time, as Sascha always liked to call it, he was also a smoker. When he moved to Berlin, he quickly stopped doing so. At least this made a bad impression on others. And in the presence of a small child cigarettes were not welcome. He secretly hoped that Rudgar too would stop soon. And if he did, he should only smoke on the balcony in the evening, when Paul was already asleep.

'I propose that we finish up right now. I still have to put the letter in my pocket"

"True. Wait, do you have a pen and paper somewhere?"

"Yes, in the corridor, wa-",Sascha couldn't finish the sentence at all, when the older one stormed past him, took a ballpoint pen and a small piece of paper and scribbled a combination of numbers on it.

"This is my number." Rudgar explained. The brown-haired one nodded. He had lost his mobile phone on the journey from Bavaria to Berlin and had not found it again until now. Maybe someone had found it, maybe it was still missing. Fortunately, Sascha had planned to buy a new smartphone.

"Thank you." Sascha took the note that Rudgar held out to him and smiled. At the end of the number the black-haired man had scribbled a little heart. The brown-haired man took his cell phone out of his pocket and saved his partner's number while Rudgar looked after Paul. The four-year-old was sitting on the living room floor with the TV on.

"Paul, let's go right now." The kid looked at Rudgar with his head tilted, "You gotta go already?"

"My train comes at noon. So we have to be at the station in three hours." "Will you come back?", the little one's question made Rudgar's heart break a little. Would he miss him? Had Paul accepted him? Did he even like him? "Yes." the black-haired man confirmed the reaper's question.

"Okay!", Paul turned off the TV and then ran down the corridor. Sascha helped his foster son to put on his jacket, trousers and shoes.

His heart ached at the thought that Rudgar had to leave again.


	10. Chapter 10

"Does he really have to go?", Sasha sighed softly.

For the fifth time Paul asked exactly this question. As if he couldn't believe it. With a heavy heart the brown-haired man had to confirm this question. He didn't want any more. His legs felt heavier and heavier, his breath became faster. In half an hour the train arrived, which brought his beloved back to Bavaria. At the moment the three Shinigami sat on a bench and took a breather for a few minutes. While Paul sat on Rudgar's lap and looked from the black-haired ones to Sascha, the latter was busy looking for his cell phone, which had probably disappeared somewhere in the depths of the history teacher's jacket pockets. When he found it, he pressed the camera button and turned on the Selfie function.

"Darling, yes, Rudgar must go. B-but he'll be back."

"You think so?", Paul looked at Rudgar, who smiled at him.

"Sure..." the reaper returned, "At least I have to take care of my family, right?"

Family.

When Sascha heard this word, his heart became soft again. He had always wanted some kind of ''family''. The thought was just so beautiful. But he knew that everything would change for him in three years at the latest. The thorns would come, even faster than expected. Faster than he could think. Why him of all people? Why did he of all people have to carry this stupid pathogen inside him? He hadn't told Paul yet, like his colleagues. Some, those who accepted him. Rudgar and Alan were the only ones who knew about the thorns. The English Shinigami had started to cry. Sascha was, apart from Grell Sutcliff, the seriously ill man's best friend. But it was probably his destiny.

"Now, and so you can see Rudgar when he's not with us, we're taking a souvenir photo!", the brown-haired one leaned on his partner's shoulder and checked if each of them was clearly visible.

"Smile!" Sascha looked briefly at Paul, then at Rudgar. Both nodded and grinned.

He pushed the trigger. Many pictures were taken, on which the three different grimaces were drawn. On all of them I did not notice that Sascha was a little sad inside. He wanted Rudgar to stay with them. Here, in Berlin. Only now he had noticed that he had been missing him for two years, but it only became clear to him now that he saw the black-haired man. He would like best to go with Rudgar, move back to Bavaria. But this was not possible. After all, Paul had to stay here as long as he was not yet adopted. He had already posted the letter and hoped eagerly that the application would be approved.

"I'll copy some of these out tonight, then hang them on the fridge." Paul nodded excitedly and whimpered around on the older Shinigami's lap. He smiled slightly and pulled the four-year-old closer. It was a good feeling that completely enveloped his body in warmth.

"Shall we go somewhere else?", Sascha asked the boy. This one just shrugged his shoulders.

"If you want." he returned what the history teacher stood up.

"Well, come on..." Sascha watched his partner as he put the four-year-old on his shoulders and stood up carefully.

"Wow, you're big!" Paul laughed and looked around. Sascha was not as tall as Rudgar, he already knew that, but he hadn't thought that the black-haired man was so tall. This one unconsciously took the hand of the younger one into his own. She was so warm, so safe. His heart broke at the thought that he would soon have to return to Bavaria. Tears came to his eyes, his throat became dry. He could sense that Sascha was in the same situation. But he swallowed the tears again. He mustn't cry now. Not in front of his great love. Suddenly Sascha squeezed the hand of the other. Very light, but noticeable. It was like the brown-haired guy wouldn't let go of him. Not even when they headed for the escalator did Sascha let go of his hand.

"Sasha, why are you so quiet?", the voice of the four-year-old made Sascha easily startle. He looked at his foster son, who was looking at the brown-haired man with his head tilted.

"Quiet? I am? Pffffffff..." Sascha stuck out his tongue to the little shinigami "When will I ever be quiet?"

Paul seemed to notice that his legal guardian was lying to him. It was not Sascha's way of lying, but in the case of these, it had to be easy. He knew that if Paul knew he was sad, he would be sad. And this is exactly what the history teacher wanted least of all. He didn't want his protégé to be sad. He never wanted that.

"Will you miss Rudgar? Don't you want him to go?". the addressed person swallowed at the question of the smaller one. Then he nodded. He would miss his partner, he would probably start crying right away because he just didn't want Rudgar to leave him alone again.

The black-haired one looked around during this time: Everywhere he saw happy couples hugging, kissing, making love. And him? He would be back in Bavaria soon. Already the day after tomorrow he will have to work again, collecting souls. Carrying out the activities he used to do with Sascha. His heart ached terribly at the thought that he had to leave his great love behind here in Berlin. With Paul, who had probably already taken the black-haired man into his heart. At least he wasn't as suspicious of him as yesterday. The smoker thought that the four-year-old was beginning to trust him. Maybe Paul knew that Rudgar had very special feelings for Sascha.

"Honestly", Sascha started scratching the back of his head.

"No...I-I don't want Rudgar to go, kid. But he has to go. He has to work the day after tomorrow. I will miss him very much..." small tears gathered in the eyes of the teacher.

Once he wiped his sleeve over his face, then he looked at the four-year-olds again. Sascha hadn't even noticed that his voice was getting quieter. He cleared his throat, then smiled again. He could not show any weakness now, not in front of Paul and Rudgar. The little reaper looked at Sascha with a worried expression on his face. This one looked around. He really didn't know where to go now. Rudgar drew his lover closer to him because he was afraid to lend him out in the great crowds. He sighed softly. They only had twenty minutes left. At this thought tears kept coming into Sasha's eyes. They had been separated for so long and now it was time to say goodbye.

"Rudgar, you marry Sasha?", the black-haired man nodded when asked what Sascha just shook his head at. That was his Rudgar right there. They had often thought about marriage, but they were not yet engaged. Rudgar had never proposed to him before. He probably put it off for the perfect moment. Paul must have thought it was pretty great, so he looked at Sascha with a grin.

"Are you engaged?", the four-year-old then asked. The brown-haired one just shook his head.

"Are you going to propose, Rudgar?", the black-haired man asked the reaper. He nodded at the question. Although he did not know when and where, he wanted to call Sascha his husband. But he had hardly given it any thought. "Come on, we gotta get to track 4" Sascha pulled his friend behind him to the next escalator.

When they were down, Rudgar let the boy down from his shoulders and sat him on a bench while Sascha watched his partner do it. He was really good with kids, I'll give him that.

"Sascha?" the older one put his arms around the smaller one's, pulled him to himself and kissed him tenderly The younger one was only too happy to return the kiss. The smoker's lips tasted of coffee and also a little bit of sugar. They disengaged after a few seconds.

"Mmm?", the smaller one buried his head in the suit of the older one. This one stung the history teacher's hair.

"I'll be back." the elder promised "I will also make all the arrangements to move to Berlin."

The eyes of the history teacher widened, then they closed again. He just could not cry now, but he could not prevent it. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. Damn it. Damn it. The train would be coming in a minute. Sasha sensed it. Suddenly he felt two arms wrapped around his leg. He looked down. At once the corners of his mouth lifted up: Paul, who had probably noticed that Sascha was crying, stood there and looked up at him. Laughing, the brown-haired man lifted his foster son onto his arm and then looked back at Rudgar. The latter stroked the four-year-old through his black hair.

"You promise to take good care of Sascha, Champ?", Rudgar asked the boy. This one nodded immediately.

"Sure.."

They heard the announcement, the announcement that the train would arrive any moment. Rudgar embraced the bespectacled one, kissed him tenderly one last time for full devotion. It was like it was her last kiss for a very, very long time. They didn't know when they would be facing each other again. Didn't know if the black-haired man's move would work. For a moment everything stood still. Both concentrated only on the person opposite. Everything seemed faded and blanked out. Without thinking, Sascha stood on his toes and kissed his beloved one last time. One last time before the train pulled in and people got confused.

"See you soon." the black-haired man wiped his face once with his sleeve so that you couldn't see that tears were gathering in his eyes, then he grabbed his suitcase.

"I love you." Sascha took the hand of the other into his own. He didn't want it. He did not want him to leave, did not want him to go back to Bavaria. He wanted to keep him here. As if in slow motion the taller one gently squeezed his friend's hand, said that he loved him more than anything, then turned around and looked at the two shinigami again.

"Bye, sweetheart." the black-haired one ran to the regional train and waved at the two shinigami. It was a sight full of sorrow and joy at the same time.

"B-Bye!", Sascha looked at one of the windows. Through this he could see Rudgar. The black-haired man sat down at a window seat and waved to his two darlings one last time. Both knew exactly that they would see each other again.

Someday


End file.
